Motivation seems to have disappeared from my dictionary this year. This is definitely not good; this year is one of the most crucial years of my high school education. It is going to take much work, dedication, determination, and motivation. Nevertheless, I don’t have any of those four essentials to complete it successfully. I love the idea of doing my homework well, completely, and turned in on time. Yet, when it comes to the accomplishment of the fantasy, that is homework, nothing in my mind clicks like it used to. Back in the day I was fierce when it came to assignments. More than that, I loved them: thinking about them, planning what my topic would be, and how it would look. Now my organs are drained of their nourishment to continue. I don’t see the point in it any more. Maybe this is because I don’t know my soul and I don’t have any goals for the future.

            The goals I have right now have nothing to do with school. I’ve lost my desire to go to college. I’m not sure that there is anything there that I want to do for a living. But, that is just my point. People’s life and purpose, it seems, involves some kind of work for money. Honestly, the whole system confuses me. One goes to college by writing good papers (which in turn is what money is made out of so they essentially are money), learn a trade at this school by paying for it with more paper, and get a job to make more paper than anyone else. Paper is necessary to provide for a family, live in the suburbs and maintain a good image for others to judge you by. Is that what I want? Does anyone want this? Does it even make sense?